Life imitates art imitates life

A scene from the movie The Devil Wears Prada goes something like this...
Miranda: "Emily...Emily..."
Nigel, hovering near the desk of the oblivious new assistant Andrea: "That would be you."

I witnessed such a scene at work last week, involving a greenhorn, a colleague and a not-so-nice superior. Life imitates art imitates life.

Prematurely, thanks for the memories

"Through the morning cacophony of a school canteen, I caught up with a familiar face from one of the courses attended last year, 'How have you been?...'

The conversation flowed easily and floated around various topics relevant to these 2 years. Out of the blue he mentioned that he was from a certain school. It has become second nature to me to find a topic of common interest, and I could not resist asking if he knew XXX, thereby opening up another avenue of conversation. At that moment of mutual recognition, the sound of a shrill whistle broke the joviality and we parted abruptly. What followed was a collective flurry; the canteen cleared of its users who in lightning speed had formed up in neat, precise rows in the parade square outside.

At this point I found myself seated comfortably against a wall, detached from the proceedings with an omniscient viewpoint. Agents of command, whose primary role was to enforce the novel concept of 'discipline', had descended upon their fearful prey like hawks upon frigid mice. This was not all too unfamiliar, as I was joined by a buddy in recognizing the faces: there was the one with a monosyllabic name on his uniform (Bill), there was the one adept at 180 degree changes in emotion and tone of voice (Ou), goofing around with the unassuming one whose name was spelt 'Jye'... . My buddy and I reminisced the lighthearted moments, having been fortunate to share the trails and tribulations together from one school to the next.

Amongst them an unfamiliar figure emerged. The man looked almost satirical, an air of arrogance hung about him as he trod around with slow, calculated steps. Seniority was evident, not just from his greying mop - the front of his shirt crowded with glistening badges and pins of the highest merit. All it took was a fleeting glance from him before my buddy and I anxiously roused Jin, snoozing nearby. After all, civilians we may be but we were ever-respectful of dignified ceremonies and glorifying parades, having stood in those boots before ; )"

I awoke at 0530, the dream still vivid in my mind. While I still have some weeks to go before my prescribed 22 months come to a conclusion, I find myself prematurely recollecting the memories of these many months past. Not saying that the others do not matter as much, but to those aforementioned characters, you sure made an impact to be representative of each phase of my service, and I thank you for the memories.

exerpt from the closing speech of the ideological disambiguation party

"...After a meaningful and fulfilling week, it is with much regret that I have to announce that our gathering has come to a close...Before the party began, we set out with the sole aim of unifying conflicting ideologies across our vast organisation...Today, I am proud to announce that the ideological disambiguation party has been a resounding success, having exceeded expectations. Apart from promulgating unified ideologies and aligning ourselves to our ethos to excel, we have broken new grounds and established new procedures...I would now like to thank all of you for gracing the ideological disambiguation party with your most esteemed presence and generous contribution of visionary ideas, which I look forward to implementing for continued success of our infallible organisation!" (speaker receives thunderous ovation) "...Without further ado, let us adjourn to the dining hall for light canapes and vintage house pours..."

All the boys and all the girls are begging to ______

My friend recently introduced me to a video and I found that I could not resist analysing it with a critical eye...

The video is filled with vivid choreography and suggestive dance moves, but it isn't just another music video. What makes this video stand out is its underlying overtones of indignation and deception. The video begins and ends with a brief mock news flash that blatantly outlines the triumph and indignation of the artiste in producing the piece of work which treads a thin line. The last 'news flash' is ironic, given that the headlines spell out what it is about yet the newscaster does not seem to understand the hidden message. For a viewer who still does not get the message at the end of the video, the end punchline "Doesn't make sense, does it?" is thought-provoking and leads to a closer viewing of the video. Indignant the artiste must be, for the seemingly-innocent song has managed to get past our local censors to be played on air. Indeed I was surprised that a song which spells out an expletive would be allowed on 987. Maybe the censors merely read the lyrics and did not get a chance to hear it.

Deception is another theme of the video which ties in with the song. The artiste, first portrayed in a provocative black outfit, is shown later changing into a nondescript pink blouse and white skirt. She emerges from (what seems like a house of debauchery on the inside) a typical American house with her family and a freshly baked tray of apple pie. This ending reiterates the age-old saying "do not judge a book by it's cover", as the innocent family scene betrays the apparent mass debauchery that goes unnoticed from outside the house.

This piece which has managed to dodge (some) censors bring to mind the case of the Mandarin "Grass-Mud Horse", an innocent video imploring the plight of the titular creature. However, for those who understand Mandarin, the lyrics take on a vile and profane turn. The creators of the "Grass-Mud Horse" video must have been indignantly triumphant that their work has escaped strict censorship, appeared on the Internet and is a statement in itself.

I am sure there are many other examples of dodging censors, especially in our humble island, but there's no need to list them. The point of my rambling, is that there will always be those who try to test the system and succeed. As long as most are kept in check and do not vilify our perfectly uncorrupted minds, we'll be free from evil! ; p

Happy Ox Year

Happy New Year!
Congratulations and may you prosper!
May you be bestowed with good health!
May you achieve success in 10, 000 endeavours!
May your heart's desires be fulfilled!
May your every step bring you to greater heights!

See if you can guess the Chinese New Year greetings. Have a good one this year ; D

16 hours ago...

...somewhere over the South China Sea, I find myself torn and twisted. My heart, heavy like an anchor, is dragged along in my homeward journey. I have never been closer to home these 3 weeks, yet for the first time, the closer I get the further I wish to be. Inside me, a deep desire to unchain my heavy heart, dispense with emotion and reality. Already alone, this solitude leads to a further downward spiral. My feelings, pent up in this aluminium can, threatens to rupture in a toxic release. Alas, the implausibility of decompression leaves me in scathing agony, a powerless prisoner of my heart...

A lack of colour in chaotic K.D.

A single man he roams,
The crowded streets of kitsch.
With yet a heavier heart,
He dives into the dark.
Above the pretentions and the gaiety,
His mind does start to ponder:
The need for closeness and familiarity,
As distance makes his heart grow fonder...

12:15 am, 30th October 2008
HCC, post-K.D. wanderings...

F1RST

Spotted months ago at HKIA

Finally, the F1 circus had come and gone.

It was surreal, this glamourous and glitzy world-class event in shiny Singapore. Cars were tearing down roads, several times the speed limit, irregardless of lane markings and bus lane timings. It was another one of those (shameless) publicity stunts, where all the dust is swept under the carpet and everybody gives a big wide smile when the curtain goes up and the spotlight is turned on(in this case, ~1500 lights).

Admittedly, Singapore put up an outstanding performance. True to STB's Singapore tagline, the race was unique. Proving our obssession with No. 1s, we staged the world's first night race, incidentally on Asia's first street circuit. Strategically chosen camera angles, well-orchestrated camera zooming, media helicopters busy hovering over the bay...these gave the world the best views there were of our sparkling city-state. Personally, there was hardly a boring moment, being in the thick of the action, hearing the roar of the engines and watching the cars speed by. (Digressing, I was told that the deafening engines could be heard at my house. That is, when the Grand Prix was at the Old Upper Thomson Rd circuit decades ago). The historic race night was the most exciting of all, with all the crashes, overtakings and pit(stop) falls before our very eyes.

28th September 2008 was not only the night Alonso was crowned champion of the 2008 Formula 1 Singtel Singapore Grand Prix. It was also the night that Singapore was given pole position amongst the Grand Prix hosts.

World premiere of a race

...
Quickened pulses racing its veins,
The Lion City roars anew.
-Yours truly

Driftwood

My mind is often awash with emotions. Of late, it has been fear, impeding judgements, overwhelming my psychology. It got worse today. An overbearing fear of failure and worry clouding my mind even before my first attempt at the test. Unhealthy and damaging. It robs me of my apetite, my belly full of fear and my mind full of disgust. That I have spiralled downwards and degenerated as such. Over the littlest, worthless things. Attributed to an immense desire for success to disprove the dissenters. So much so that failure is not an option. It cannot, must not happen...

Alas, so much fuss over a simple test. I get carried away. Like driftwood. Weak, brittle and powerless in a sea of emotions.

A date not meant to be

Alas, fate is not on my side. It was decided that out of 52 weeks,
the evaluation would fall on this week
the gig would fall on this week
the official beginning of archi would fall on this week
...

Have I been too complacent? Arrogant? Selfish? Perhaps, but whatever the reason, this is punishing. Learning the hard way, that you can't have your cake and eat it. That things can't always go according to your desires. That august 12 was not to be for my friend and I. A date not meant to be.

The Enigmatic Phone Call

The phone vibrated. It was her. Staring at the screen in silence, a moment of indecisive struggle. Finally, he answered. But it was not her. Instead, a steady, enigmatic voice advised...

Go, give chase to your dreams,
Gallop, like a fearless horse, wild with passion;
Burn, like an inflamed wick, steadfast towards destiny...

Stirred in his heart many a memory. The hopes he held, the dreams he dreamt. So many shattered, lost amongst the sea of failures. He picked himself up, but it was not long before he returned to the floor. It was the baggage that held him back. Baggage which should have long been left behind. Yet they clung onto him, an obstacle in his way. He needs to rid himself of it...

2007

The year 2007 was a year of several lasts and several firsts. Naming a few from my memory, the first NDP held on water, the first commercial flight of the A380, the first ACS (Independent) prom…the last Kallang Roar in the old National Stadium, the last Zoukout at Siloso. As you can see, not many registered clearly in my memory, for I myself had my own firsts and lasts to cherish.

2007 was my last year in school. My last year in school uniform. My last session proper with the Astronomy Club. My last Aikido training in school. My last swimming competition representing ACS (Independent). (For all my reminiscing, I do hope they remain last). My last International Baccalaureate year…

One of the firsts assessments of the year I remember was the TOK oral presentation. It was somewhat challenging at times finding a valid argument, but amid all the silences, Kenneth and I presented our arguments for and against Euthanasia. The other major assessment I will never forget was our Individual Oral Commentary. Up till July, I had believed it the be the most nerve-wrecking and stressful assessment for the whole IB (belief later challenged in November). Many many months later, the thought of it still makes me go howlhowlhowlhowl. O, me, my heart, my rising heart, but down is a phrase I often think of too, awaiting the perfect moment to unleash this ghost of IOC. Another assignment for assessment for English was the World Literature Essays. I remember spending hours on the 7^th floor of the National Library, at the reference section admiring the architecture of the city doing my readings. Later on, an equal amount of time was spent there trying to grasp a deeper understanding of Huckleberry Finn, isolating myself in Paddy’s psyche, attempting to gain enlightenment (forgive me but this word is just synonymous with Siddhartha) about Herman Hesse’s acclaimed novel. Also due were the TOK essay and the Extended Essay. These were mostly done in December 06, and so I was not bothered by them. CAS was due as well. Likewise, most of it was done last year, except for nitty-gritty documentation. (Making up Thinking very very hard and remembering the dates of our activities, chasing our wonderful supervisors and teachers for their autographs, photocopying the sheets in case they do not arrive in Geneva, punching holes hastily and absent-mindedly, photocopying them again because punched holes is no good for binding…)

Finally, such internal assessments were over and it was time to tackle the external assessment: the final final big IB exams. Here goes my Lear quote, O, me, my heart, my rising heart, but down. Very apt in describing my emotions. But as soon as it arrived, it was over. It was sad and happy, bits of both. But mostly happy.

At long last, I had my life back. And how I lived it up; swimming and cycling and eating and drinking and shopping and sleeping and merry-making…

______________________________________________________________

2007 will be remembered as the year I turned 18 (Well, yes, it is the only time that I will ever be 18). Being 18, as a friend wrote, mean I am of a legal age to 1)marry 2)drink 3)drive 4)watch M18 movies etc. Being 18 makes me feel so much older. Psychologically, there is much responsibility, maturity and respect attached to being 18. (At this juncture writer realises he is veering out of point)

As 2007 drew to a close, what’s up? Cab fares and bus fares went up (incidentally, it was around that time that the pay rises of some took effect…). There could not be a better time for my student concession to end and adult fares to kick in. Plus all the late nights out = taking cabs. What a wonderful way to end 2007 and welcome 2008.

Anyway, let us hope that the cost of living does not rise much more (or that we will get as many points as possible, get into a good course with or without scholarship, and land a high-paying job to cover the high cost of living!). Oh glee, results are out in 2 days. (If the writer is not going to lose his dreams, he will at least lose his hair by the end of the week. And he simply cannot express his joy)

oh well...

Whenever I randomize my songs, the song that plays seem to reflect my sentiments and crystallize my thoughts...

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside...

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life...

I am deeply sorry for the misunderstanding. And I wish things would return to how they were before.

As friends.

Confusion

...over previous clarity, I seek answers to this silence. When absence does take its leave, adorned in green I shall be...

100th post

So many things have happened since my last posting:
-Finished the life-changing IB exams. Wonderful
-Had a day out with friends at Sentosa. Fantastic
-Checked out T3, toured T2 and T1 as well. Terrific
-Shopped around for prom clothes and winter wear. Tiring
-Went crazy taking photos at prom and chilling out post-prom. Momentous
-Holidayed in the Himalayas, specifically, Nepal. Interesting
etcetcetc

Now I will have to wait for other activities. Certain circumstances do not permit me from proceeding. But I will wait

haunting ioc

Here are some pictures I meant to upload months ago but didn't get round to it. Originals photographed in school during the height of the IOC fever. IOC seemed to be everywhere. See if you can guess the extract and locations of the pictures.

To you

...and your perverted lifestyle
Please stay away
For I am not happy

Some people are getting on my nerves

Hiss of death

Constricted serpent grows so long,
Your hurtful toxins bursts all round.
Right here right now you don't belong,
So off you go into the ground.

Happy Mid Autumn

september solace seeking

Life feels so surreal nowadays.

Staring out the window. Listening to the rustling of the palm. Admiring the occasional Oriole. Watching the clock. Seconds, minutes, fly by. When, I ponder, did it become so fast?

I wish it could slow. Not stop. Just slow. These days I never have time to reflect, to wonder, to breathe. Who, actually has time? It is all about balance. Like life. Pan Metron Ariston. But me. Never had a knack for managing it. And now. Staring at the clouds, my books call, my dreams awaken me. I wish I could return. To the time before I lost me.

Life feels so surreal nowadays.

Beautiful Beautiful Seed!

I've been listening to Beautiful Seed endlessly, tirelessly! Every week, listening to one or two more songs. I must say, her songs have been inspiring me to go on for the past few years, and continue to do so! From her new album Beautiful Seed, my favourite has to 'On My Way'. It's about resilience, courage and hope to continue on whatever journeys we may be on, to push on and press on no matter what (sounds like something someone used to say to me, but, oh well...)

For those of you who aren't bored yet here's my account of the concert...

The month began with the highly anticipated Beautiful Seed concert. Booked about a month earlier, I was more than thrilled to be able to book 3 great seats right in the centre of circle 1 at UCC hall. At 8.10pm, Corrinne May humbly walked on stage and opened the concert with ‘Angel in disguise’. This set the tone for the rest of the concert – light-hearted and up-lifting. Like her Christmas concert, little stories and anecdotes would sometimes precede each song. At the end of it, the sold-out crowd was left satisfied and refreshed. Personally, I find ‘live’ concerts very powerful. You can really feel the artiste’s emotions and energy. In this case, Corrinne May’s warm smile truly permeated the coldness of the hall, reaching out to each and every one of her fans present. It was, for the first time, that I really felt what ‘Fly Away’ was meant to convey (only now, despite listening to it over and over again, having the impression that I knew what it was about). ‘Everything in its time’ was certainly pleasing, and ‘Save Me’ was given a refreshing arrangement. It was a beautiful concert, and I left feeling deeply contented, with a sense of peace and satisfaction. Many thanks to the ‘angels in disguise’ after the concert, without whom we'd have to stay till 3am (and walk home from UCC -.-)
I think it's really really sweet of her to speak to each and every one of her fans. How many other artistes care to do that?!
On a separate note, it's been a year since I began listening to my music using iTunes. Just look at the play count for Fly Away: 1000 times, in 365 days. Works out to be an average of 2.7 times a day. Will it be overtaken by the songs from Beautiful Seed? Time can only tell...

Who I'd never be

Why do you persist in pushing

The mask into my face.

Though living high has been my dream,

I’m sure there’re other means.

Unhappily rich I’d surely be,

For joy lies not there to me.

I thought I’d made it clear already,

My path shall not be written so.

the boy in the garden

Pacing towards departure. Hesitantly, glancing back. The open welcomes. Wishing to leave it all behind, but his heart disallows. Why. Mere steps away. Freedom. Even if temporal. Peace. Break. Void. Period. But why. Alas, he is recalled. Bittersweet escape that never happened. Or did it...?

Awakened. Thoughts. But why? Time is of essence, and now is the moment that cannot be. Confused yet longing. Staring into the green. Solace he seeks. Wishing to let go. O, heart...

567648000.9460800.157680.6570.216.18

He glances. 2007. 365 days. Things changed. Not all.

Life darkens, enlightenment notwithstanding. The conundrum remains, it still evades. Ahead a cliff, beyond which the unknown, as yet.

Sensorial pleasures adequately met – he should be so lucky. But how long more, can he live? The age long question poses even more. A continuous pursuit, a search for balance…

Disjointed

Mere ignorance it is not.
Let it go I cannot.
Not wishing to know where have you been?
Shall not again ever be seen?